Bigger than the STORM

It always pulls at my heart strings when someone says they

"feel alone".

Perhaps it's because I have been there so many times myself.

LIKE....

When I was 5, and daddy abandoned me.

When I was 16, and mom took her own life....
or a week later when I found out I was pregnant with my first son, and the rest of my family abandoned me.

When I was 18, and I lost everything after my first home was struck by lightning and burned to the ground.

When I was married to my first husband, and learned he was entertaining a relationship outside of our marriage.

When my two younger boys were hospitalized countless times over a 5 year period with medical conditions & I couldn't make them better.

And there was 2005. North Florida was under a Hurricane warning. Our area was not expecting a direct hit, but we were anticipating heavy rain & tropical storm strength winds. In the event we lost power I decided to make a trip to purchase bottled water & batteries.

As I struggled to make out every inch of the approaching highway, the black skies seemed to consume me.  Little did I know the struggle that lied ahead of me. Digging my fingers into the steering wheel, I would soon find my Ford Explorer hydroplaning and spinning fiercely out of control. Hearing the moans of my own cries was like watching myself in a movie, as the impact of metal crushed around my body. Following a direct hit into a tree on the drivers side door, my vehicle would slingshot further into the heavily wooded area.

Still alert, I tried to examine the situation, as the rain poured relentlessly into the torn apart SUV. Due to the severe weather conditions the highways were empty. No sounds of passing cars could be found. Fear and the possibility of death began to fall on me. I worried how anyone would find me? The steep ditch and deep woods offered no view of the highway. How would anyone even see my car? Crawling to the road I thought would be my only option.

Trying to pull myself together, shaking, and in shock...I realized I could not move from the waist down. Each breath was becoming a struggle, and each minute seemed like hours. My children's faces began flashing before me, and I started to cry & pray out loud..."PLEASE LORD help me!"
Someone answered...
"he will sister"
2 Ministers had been traveling and caught a glimpse of something in the corner of their eye as they passed my crash site.

My spleen had been lacerated, and I was bleeding internally. I had several broken ribs, my left lung had collapsed, and my tail bone & pelvis were broken. Paramedics did not expect me to make it to the hospital. I would fade in & out of consciousness.

Following a blood transfusion & tube in my lung, I would survive. After a week in ICU, the doctors advised that  I would spend several months in a rehabilitation care facility. I was told that I would have to use a walker, and it would be 6 months before I could walk with out assistance.

The first night in the rehabilitation clinic was horrible. I had been away from my 3 boys for a week. The pain of not tucking them in at night was far worse than the physical pain I was enduring. With a walker I would insist on going home the very next day without doctor approval.

My battle was not over. After being home a week. My husband would try to abandon me with taking care of 3 children while I am still unable to walk.

Why am I sharing all of this...because as impossible as life has seemed countless times...as alone as I have felt countless times...I reminded myself that I AM STRONG, and I will RISE above this. That the situation at hand is a tiny bump in the road in the grand scheme of my life. I refused to be a victim of any circumstance. This is my life, and one day at a time I will accomplish anything I set my mind to. It will not always be easy, but I will press on. 

Whatever you are facing recognize that you are still in control. You are stronger than you believe.

Wishing you love, strength, hope and the ability to believe in yourself... even when no one else does.

Much love,

Brenna